Hopefully, in the near future, we are going to wake up and have the ability to do whatever we want. I mean, we can commute to work, go to that potluck and only eat our own food, go to church, you name it. The regular rhythm of life that we once took for granted, will commence again. A rhythm that some of us now realize was a frantic frenzy that we were barely managing to keep up with. Well, freedom from the institutional walls of your home is about to be granted, my friend. What are you going to do with your reclaimed freedom? We’ve all said that we don’t want things to return back to the way they were before COVID-19. Having access to everything we wanted – whenever we wanted – may have pulled us away from what matters most.
This time has rocked our world with losses and gains, but what do you want to take from this time? One lesson that we have all learned is the value of human touch and relationships. I harp on this all the time, so entertain me for just a second as I jump on my soapbox. Here goes: longitudinal research from Harvard, a 75-year study, indicates that one of the best things you can do to ensure your own longevity and happiness, is to have close, loving relationships. What does this mean, my friends! It means that healthy, close, loving relationships are a matter of life and death, and they predict the quality of your life while you are living.
So without any further ado, I want you to reflect on the relationship lessons that you have gained from this historical time. How will these lessons shape the new normal that you construct post-quarantine? To give you a little help, I have a series of five questions you may want to ask yourself to get you started on constructing a relationship life post-quarantine that is even more beautiful than what you had before. Beauty can come from ashes!
1. What were you neglecting to do in your most meaningful relationships before quarantine that will be a non-negotiable moving forward?
2. What will be your busyness threshold? What will indicate to you that you are too busy and you aren’t enjoying the ones you love the most? What will be your strategies to change the pace?
3. What family traditions do you want to create or maintain moving forward?
4. What’s your relationship/family vision? What type of family/relationship life do you want to experience?
- Details will be important?
- What do Saturday mornings look like?
- How often do you want to do certain things on the weekend?
- What do you want the long-term memories to look like?
- What will be the routines and systems that you need to put in place now to create those cherished memories?
5. Bonus/Financial Question: How will you position your family so that you will never be reliant on one stream of income per each adult in the household?
Experience alone will not create learning. We must reflect on our experiences to gather the nuggets and lessons that life is teaching us. I hope these questions are helpful as you construct your new, more meaningful normal.
With love,
Dr. Cassandra