The Route to JOY in Your Marriage

On Thursday, after I picked up the kids from school, we saw one of Joy’s (my daughter) classmates in the store. When they saw each other, they both squealed with delight! Joy told me, “Look, mommy – it’s Harmony!” I said, “Hi Harmony.” Harmony turned to her parents and said, “Look mommy, it’s Joy.”

Then they broke out in thunderous laughter with the sweetest giggles you’ve ever heard! They were so loud, and I just knew the whole store could hear them. Their sweet little banter went back and forth for several minutes. It was the sweetest thing.

I suddenly had an epiphany the very next day. When harmony is in your relationship, you will look around and find joy. The joy in your marriage will be evident to others, and it will minister to the people around you.

Sometimes we are looking for our spouse to play the same exact note as us. We want them to think like us, and we want them to act like us. We essentially want them to be more like us, but the best music has great harmony. Everyone isn’t playing the same thing.

The following is the definition of harmony from “agreement; accord; harmonious relations; a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.” When you are walking in agreement with your spouse, you are more likely to have joy.

The enemy doesn’t want unity because he understands the power that lies in unity and harmony. The truth is that the joy of the Lord is your strength, and the enemy doesn’t want you to have a strong marriage that will give you the strength to work the mission of your marriage.

Yes, your spouse is different from you, but your differences don’t have to cause discord. You sing soprano while he sings tenor. Show up with the best sound that you can give. Sometimes the changes that you want to see could come from you working on yourself to get back on key.

Unison is nice, but harmony is a masterful work of art. Your joy will show up when you are walking in agreement and there is a pleasing arrangement between you and your spouse. The following are a few helpful ways to increase harmony in your relationship.

  1. Validate your spouse’s feelings
  2. Remind yourself that you are on the same team
  3. Attack your problems and not your partner
  4. Pray together
  5. If you feel like disharmony is creeping in, make amends quickly by apologizing or forgiving your spouse.
  6. Do fun activities together

You have the capacity to create great harmony and joy in your relationship. Give yourselves some time and grace for this process.

When you first get married, it’s like learning how to play a new instrument. It takes time to play on the level of a great symphony.

With continuous effort and time, you’ll be composing and creating some beautiful music of your own. Before long, you’ll be squealing with delight just like Joy and Harmony were in the store.

With love,

Dr. Cassandra

8 thoughts on “The Route to JOY in Your Marriage”

  1. “Well said” and described. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and receiving from what was written. This article made me feel good 👍.

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